Ways to keep leaders from leading effectively.

Jim Vining  posted this and I thought it was worth passing along…

Here are the Top Ten Ways to Ruin Young Pastors. They have also been found effective on other ministry staff!

10. Promise big things in their interviews, and then pull back on those promises once the family is on site.

9. Do not bother mentoring them or investing in their personal or professional development.

8. Ask them to reach new people, but force them to think the same way as the existing staff.

7. Ask them to bring change, but do not allow them to do anything different.

6. Young Pastor’s Concerns = Never Valid. Member’s Concerns about Young Pastor = Always Valid.

5. Give them responsibility, but do not give them the authority to accomplish those things.

4. Give them greater workloads than other pastors, but also less respect.

3. Say one thing in private meetings, another thing in staff or elder meetings, and another thing in Sunday Worship.

2. Reject their ideas, tell them how to do it, and when it does not work … blame them.

1. Allow your personal insecurities to interpret the young pastor’s words and deeds as attempts to mock you or steal your job.

This post was inspired by some of my past experiences and the tragic stories of a number of friends who have entered vocational ministry with passion and commitment, only to be beaten down by leadership of their churches. Some of them have left vocational ministry, all of us have considered that exit. While these friends were not perfect in every situation, none of them were slackers, whiners, heretics, immoral or insubordinate.

Experiencing Father’s Embrace

Here is a great book that I wanted to share with you. It communicates our main purpose in life, to experience Father God’s unconditional love embracing our lives every day!

I hope it encourages you!

Click here to get a copy.

DEADBOLT THE YOUTH ROOM DOOR

Dear Tim,
I’ve been reading and learning more about discipleship; however, it seems too many churches don’t really promote it or even have that much of a grasp on it. Do you have any tips for ways to go about it?
Dan, Illinois

Let me share an equation I use when quantifying the results of youth ministry (or any ministry). You measure what you value; you produce what you measure.
When I have the opportunity to consult with a church or provide coaching to a congregation, my first inquiry is always, “Please show me your youth in ministry.” I don’t ask about the building, budget, or broken down bus. What I really want to see is equipped young people actively engaged in doing the work of the ministry — their ministry. (If I don’t see youth in ministry, I already know the results.)

There is only one objective for youth ministry — for the whole church in fact. Discipleship. That same goal also defines the purpose of ministry clearly and concisely. It is the last word Jesus spoke when he commissioned his faithful few. It was his number one priority and our number one failure. Ironic.

How do you measure discipleship?
In order to assess the effectiveness of youth ministry for your church, there are two factors that require consideration: relationship and ownership. Those two words comprise the key elements needed to accomplish the primary objective Jesus gave before he ascended.

If you want to know what you value, just stop and consider what you measure. Most youth leaders calculate and count the wrong indicators. Numbers. (FYI: They are only following the directive or example of those to whom they report.) Please know that digits cannot indicate effective discipleship. They are a means of measurement, but what do they really determine in light of Jesus’ Great Commission?

I replied to Dan with a tongue-in-cheek answer that contains more than a hint of truth. “Deadbolt the youth room.” Sound drastic or just sarcastic? Listen closer: “If I came to your church and forbid you from planning, preparing, or programming another meeting for six months, what would your ministry look like?” Simply put, “What would happen if we would deadbolt the youth room door?”

Many youth leaders would be completely lost because meeting and ministry have become synonymous when in fact, one is usually the greatest obstacle of accomplishing the other. Here’s the truth:

Students’ lives are changed through relationships, and relationships that change lives take time.
If the majority of our time is spent getting ready for meetings, how much time do we actually devote to discipleship? The answer to that question tells a lot about what we have come to value.

This week, I encourage you to reconsider your role as disciple-maker. Start leaving the meetings to youth. Yeah, that’s right. Give them ownership of their ministry. They won’t ruin what you’ve built. Jesus gave his disciples ownership. Look at what they did. (BTW: They were about the same age as your young people.)

Now, take that new free time you have from no longer worrying about what Wednesday nights look like, and intentionally share your life in Christ with students. Focus your time on relationship.

Go ahead. Try it. You will find you have never been more effective in accomplishing the only objective Jesus gave when he called you to youth ministry. If you still need to measure numbers, look at how many more students have a real role in planning their own program. Then take a look at how many more minutes you have invested into young lives. Put that information in your next board report!
Ownership with relationship equals discipleship.

Questions to help you build community and get to know one another.

Discussion Starters

1. Do you have a hero? Describe him or her.

2. Imagine a “best day ever.” What kinds of things would you do?

3. If you could choose a vacation spot anywhere in the world, where would it be, and why?

4. What’s your favorite TV show? What do you like best about it?

5. What’s your favorite movie? What do you like best about it?

6. Who’s your favorite music artist or group? What makes you gravitate to him/her/them?

7. What’s your favorite time of year-winter, spring, summer, or fall? Why?

8. What’s your favorite food? Where’s your favorite place to eat it?

9. Do you have a pet? If so, describe one of your most memorable experiences with that pet. If not, what kind of pet would you like to have, and why?

10. Who’s your favorite author? Describe the last book you read by that author.

11. What’s your dream job? What might be your dream job 10 years from now?

12. What’s your best subject in school? Why are you so good at it?

13. Have you ever been stung by a bee, wasp, or hornet? Tell me about it.

14. If you had to be allergic to something, what would it be?

15. What’s your favorite sport to watch? To play?

16. What’s your favorite hobby? How does that hobby reflect your personality and passions?

17. If you sat down next to Jesus on a bus, what would you talk about?

18. Do you recycle? Why or why not?

19. Tell me about the best teacher you ever had.

20. What’s your favorite time of day? Why?

21. What’s your favorite dessert? Describe a time when you had that dessert as a child.

22 What makes you happy? Why?

23. What makes you sad? Why?

24. If money and time were no object, what would you be doing right now?

25. What do you like best: rivers, lakes, ponds, or streams? Why?

26. Have you ever caught a fish? If so, tell me about it. If not, would you like to? Why or why not?

27. Do you like to cook? If so, what do you like to make? If not, what do you wish you could make for yourself?

28. What’s the strangest thing you ever ate?

29. What chores or responsibilities do you have at home?

30. Do you get an allowance? If so, how much, and what are you supposed to use it for?

31 When and how have you volunteered to help others? How did it make you feel?

32. What would you do with $1,000? Why? $1 million? Why?

33. What’s something you’ve seen or done you wish you could get out of your mind?

34. If you had one day to live over again, what day would you pick? Why?

35. What adult, other than your parent(s), would you turn to if you needed help? Why?

36. Do you have any musical ability? If so, what do you enjoy about it? If not, what skill would you love to learn?

37. What’s your favorite Web site? Why?

38. Have you ever built anything? What was it? How did you feel when you finished?

39. When and what have you collected during your life?

40. If your house was on fire and you could choose only one thing to save (besides family members), what would it be? Why?

41. Have you ever seen a falling star? Did you make a wish? What was it?

42. Have you ever seen a sunrise? What were you doing, and how did it feel?

43 Which do you like better-sunrise or sunset? Why?

44. What’s your favorite ride at an amusement park? Why?

45. Do you have a bike? If so, what do you like about it?

46. What’s your favorite part of a newspaper? Why?

47. Have you ever received an award for anything? If so, what was it, and how did it feel to get it?

48. Do you belong to any clubs? Why or why not?

49. Are your grandparents still living? If so, what do you like best about them? If not, what’s your favorite memory of them?

50. Let’s say you were sent to live on a space station for three months and you were allowed to bring only three personal items with you-what would they be?

51. Do you have brothers or sisters? If so, what do you like most and least about them? If not, what do you imagine would be the best thing about having siblings? The worst thing? Do you have extended family? If so, do they live close to you or far away? How often do you see them? What’s the best time you ever spent with them?

53. What’s the best and worst thing about your school?

54. What’s your school mascot? If you could change your mascot, what would you change it to?

55. What’s your favorite thing to wear? Why?

56. Do you have family rules? What are they?

57. When your family eats a meal together, what do you typically talk about?

58. If you could buy a car right now, what would you buy? Why?

59. Do you have a job? If so, what do you like and dislike about it?

60. What’s your favorite day of the week? Why?

61 Have you ever grown anything? If so, what?

62. Describe your favorite toy as a child.

63. What’s your favorite fast food restaurant? Why? What’s the most memorable thing that ever happened to you at that restaurant?

64. What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? Explain.

65. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? Explain.

66. How does your family celebrate birthdays?

67. What’s your favorite holiday? Why?

68. Describe a time you felt special.

69. What makes you laugh? Why?

70, What’s the worst injury you ever sustained?

71. Would you rather go to the dentist or the doctor? Explain.

72. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Why?

73 Have you ever been in a play? What part did you play?

74. Can you swim? If so, describe what it was like to learn how to swim. If not, have you ever been scared of the water? Why or why not?

75. Have you ever ridden in a boat? What was it like?

76. If you’ve ever flown in an airplane, describe what it was like the first time you took off and landed.

77. What’s the best and worst thing about church?

78. When you’re alone, what’s a song you like. To sing or hum, and why?

79. If you could be any actor in the world, who would you be, and why?

80. What’s your greatest achievement?

81. Do you like cats or dogs better? Explain.

82. What’s your favorite city? Why?

83. Have you had a pet that’s died? If so, what was the experience like?

84. What’s been the highlight of your day or week?

85. What’s been the low point of your day or week?

86. What’s your favorite candy? Why?

87. Have you ever been to a concert? What did you like and dislike about it?

88. Have you ever been “cut” from a team? How did you cope with that?

89. What’s your favorite thing to do on an unexpected day off from school?

90. Who’s your “faith hero”? Explain.

91. Would you rather cut crass or rake leaves? Why?

92. Would you tell someone the truth even if it hurt that person’s feelings? Why or why not?

93. Has someone close to you ever died? How did you handle that?

94. What surprises you most about adults?

95. What disappoints you most about adults?

96. Describe the scariest experience of your life.

97. Would you rather have many friends or one good friend? Explain.

98. During your free time would you rather be alone or with a group?

99. Do you make decisions slowly or quickly? Why?

100. Would you rather lead or follow? Why?

101. If you were hiking down a path and it came to a “Y,” would you take the well-traveled path or the overgrown path?

Great questions to ask when you are making any decision.

1. How will this decision glorify God in and through my life?
2. Do I have the peace of God about this decision?
3. Do I have confirmation from God’s Word about this decision?
4. Have I talked with mature Christ followers about this decision and listened to their feedback?
5. How will this decision effect those that are important to me?
6. Have I taken time to process this decision (at least 2 days).
7. Have I truly prayed about this decision and sought God’s wisdom?
8. Am I walking in the FLESH or the SPIRIT as I make this decision?
9. Will this decision have an eternal impact for God’s Kingdom?
10. Is GOD clearly leading me to make this decision? How do you know?

How do you make disciples?

1. Start by developing a solid foundation of prayer in your relationship. Pray together often and really break through during your prayer times.

2. After you have developed this prayer time try to take them deeper in their relationship with God. Helping them follow you as you follow Christ. Keeping the WORD as your foundation.

3. Then begin to invest into their life to build up leaders… 2 Tim 1-2.

You do ministry & they watch you.
They do ministry with you and you are their to encourage them.
They do ministry while you are not there and you encourage.
They do ministry with someone else so they can watch and continue the process.

4. I then enter into true discipleship… Life on life as Jesus did ministry… Not just meeting one time a week to go through a book.

5. Then we GO into the world… work, school, community to impact our world… together and as individuals.

6. Then we work to create situations where Christ seekers can meet Jesus for themselves… at Church, home, and any other place that God directs…

This is a never ending process… You just keep going back through the process over and over until your disciple has invested into other people and they have done the same…

Then you have a brother or sister in Christ for life that you are there to encourage.

Trusting God.

I recently spoke to a group of students at a camp in NC. During my time there I met a young man of God who shared his vision and calling with me. It was one of the coolest things I had ever heard about. He is learning to fly planes and land them into remote areas so he can transport missionaries to hard to reach people groups. I did not even know there were schools like that? He is also learning Theology and Survival Skills along with the Flying courses. Who says God is boring! That sounds like an Indiana Jones lifestyle to me. Well I wanted to share that with you and also share Kyle’s blog with you so you could encourage him or even support him in what he is doing. They have set up a “Fund” at his church for people to make donations to assist him in his training. After talking with Kyle and hearing his heart for ministry, I want to do whatever I can to support him in all that God has called him to do!

Kyle’s Blog

Taking care of our bodies.

I have experimented with many plans to take care of my
body.

The following plans are some that I have tried: “Body for Life,” “Weight Watchers,” “South Beach Diet,” and various Biblical plans.

Each one of these plans has useful information and can benefit you in your efforts to take care of the body God has created for you.

I believe that taking care of your body is just like every other area in the life of a Christian. We can’t do anything apart from abiding in Him in any area of our lives.

The following is what God has led me to do to care for my body…

1. I pray for wisdom and read information about the body and how to take
care of it.

2. I ask myself this question every day: Have I done something today to
exercise my body? If the answer is NO then I get moving! I spend time in
prayer before and after I exercise.

3. I simply pray before eating and ask God to give me guidance on what and
how much to eat. If He gives me the freedom to eat I eat. If He leads me to
stop eating or refrain from certain foods, I obey. (When God leads me to fast
for spiritual reasons I do, but this is not for weight loss).

When I trust God in this area of my life I become more sensitive to the Holy
Spirit’s leading and I develop a greater ability to hear God in other areas of
my life.

God gave us our bodies and, if we will allow Him, He can lead us as we take
care of His creation.

The following are things that God has led me NOT to focus on:

1. Weight.
2. Comparing my body with others.
3. Strict guidelines on eating and exercise.
4. My body image (as in the worldly view / media) – I must keep in mind that God is my focus and not my body.

I pray that you will allow God to walk you through this process of taking
care of your body.

85 Healthy Tips

1. Plan ahead. This will make all the difference when you come in for
dinner. Instead of grabbing whatever is available you’ll already
have a plan and know ahead of time what healthy foods you plan
to eat.
2. Carry food with you. Getting caught without food will sabotage
your diet faster than you can say “vending machine.” Successful
dieters carry a backpack of food with them stuffed with a bottle of
water, fresh fruit, dried fruit and nuts, yogurt, turkey jerky and a
protein drink.
3. Drink more water. It will help control your appetite, not to mention
the health benefits of flushing newly released toxins out of your body
as you burn up fat.
4. When you think “hungry,” are you really thirsty instead? We often
mistake thirst for hunger. Drink first; if you’re still hungry, then go ahead
and eat.
5. Avoid high fructose corn syrup. By avoiding this single ingredient,
you’ll eliminate most of the junk food and beverages that are
keeping your saddlebags hanging on tight.
6. Limit added sugar. Too much sugar makes you a fat-builder, not a
fat-burner. Limit all added sugar in your diet to four to six teaspoons
per day.
7. Use Splenda when cooking and in coffee and tea.
8. Always combine carbohydrates with protein and/or fat. This will slow
down absorption and keep blood sugar and insulin levels on target
for weight loss.
9. Eat three fish meals each week. An excellent source of protein, fish is
lower in calories and high in omega-3 fats that support fat burning,
especially around your abs.
10. Eat whole grains. By replacing all refined cereals, flours and grains
with whole grains, you’ll keep your insulin levels in balance and fill
yourself up with great nutrients and fiber to help control your
appetite and slow absorption of total fat.
11. Limit grains to three servings a day. This leaves enough room for fruits
and vegetables, yet doesn’t put you in the red zone of your
carbohydrate intake.
12. Drink low-fat milk and eat low-fat, sugar free yogurt rich in high
quality protein. Protein helps suppress appetite and has been shown
to help with weight control.
13. Use whey or soy protein. Especially after a workout when you most
need it. Whey protein gives you an abundance of amino acids
necessary for rapid recovery so you can get to your next day’s
workout full of energy.
14. Choose lean meats. By choosing the leanest cuts of meat, you’ll cut
down on your fat and calories and help your heart at the same
time. These include sirloin, tenderloins, eye of round, top round, top
loin and round tip.
15. Add ground flaxseed or oil to your diet. It helps to burn fat and to
avoid depression.
16. Take a walk.
17. Turn off the TV. The temptation to sit still and eat is too great. Get up
and get moving.
18. Get a hobby. Keep your hands and your mind busy- and away from
food.
19. Skip the juice; eat only whole fruit. You’ll lose calories and add
healthy fiber at the same time.
20. Add nuts back to your diet. Although they are a dense source of fat
and calories, the fats are healthy. Just make sure to measure out a
serving and don’t eat from the jar.
21. Eat breakfast. People who eat breakfast have better weight control
compared to those who skip breakfast.
22. Don’t skip meals. Skipping meals doesn’t help you maintain fitness or
lose weight. Instead, you’ll slow your metabolic rate down and be
further from your goal.
23. Eat enough calories. Very low-calorie diets work at first, but quickly
slow your metabolic rate to the point where you don’t lose any more
weight. Eat enough to fuel your exercise so you can train harder,
increase muscle and metabolic rate and then burn fat.
24. Strength train. Muscle is the calorie-burning machinery in your body.
The more you have and the more you work it, the more calories
you’ll burn all day long.
25. Get a ball. When you have to sit still, whether at your desk or in front
of the tube, sit on an exercise ball. You’ll get a continuous balance
workout and burn a few extra calories.
26. Eat more fruit and vegetables. The fiber and nutrients will help keep
you satisfied and well nourished.
27. Be picky about portion control. Without it, you could be off by
hundreds of calories every day.
28. Drink green tea. Research has shown that one cup of green tea five
times a day (or the extract according to directions) can help you
burn more calories and lose weight.
29. Limit alcohol. It will slow or even halt your weight loss. Drink
carbonated or bottled water.
30. Up with Protein. When you reduce your calories, you need more
protein. It will also help you control your appetite, burn more calories
and hold onto your muscle as you lose fat.
31. Eliminate sports drinks. Unless you’re training for competition, sports
drinks will slow your fat burning during exercise and probably add
unneeded calories. Drink water instead.
32. Eat most of your carbs before 6 p.m. Insulin is released on a circadian
rhythm, and secretions slow down around 6 p.m. You can still have
some carbs afterward, but get most of your carbs earlier in the day.
33. Eat after exercise. You need to refuel and recover so you have
plenty of energy to stay active the rest of the day and exercise hard
the following day. Have some protein and carbs immediately after
exercise.
34. Sip some soup. It’s a great way to support your weight loss plan.
35. Limit restaurant food. It’s full of hidden fat and calories. You’ll have
the best control when you eat at home.
36. Eliminate fried food.
37. Bag the chips. Replace them with baked varieties, as well as soy
crisps and nuts.
38. Get your rest. Seven to eight hours sleep is ideal to promote rest,
recovery and a healthy outlook on life. Too little rest leads to
heightened levels of stress hormones that build fat, not burn it.
39. Eat small, frequent meals. This will help you control your appetite and
keep your metabolic rate elevated all day long.
40. If all else fails, chew gum. Sometimes you just can’t get past the
craving to cheat. If you don’t want to give into it, try sugar-free
gum.
41. Diet with a buddy. Partner in the process can make the difference.
42. Focus on the company, not the food. At a social gathering, stand
away from the buffet table and socialize. Food is not the main
attraction.
43. BYOD. When invited to a dinner party, offer to bring your own dish.
That way, you can make sure to have something that fits into your
diet plan.
44. Go small. Choose a small salad plate in the buffet line, rather than a
large dinner plate. It will limit the amount of food you can pile on
your plate.
45. Brush your teeth early. You won’t want to eat again in the evening.
46. Stay well hydrated. If you wake up at night to eat, get plenty to drink
during the day. You’re likely thirsty, rather than hungry.
47. Find an exercise buddy. A little pressure to keep with the program will
help you through your slump times.
48. Switch to fat-free milk. It still has the calcium and protein, but none of
the fat and far fewer calories.
49. Wrap with lettuce. Make Thai-style stuffed lettuce wraps in place of
bread sandwiches or tortilla wraps.
50. Eat grapefruit. It really does help with weight loss.
51. Look forward to dessert. Give yourself dessert once a week. You will
find that it becomes a treat again, rather than an everyday
expectation.
52. Eat at the table. Avoid eating standing, in the car, in front of the TV,
etc. By sitting at the table you’ll help your brain to recognize that
you’ve eaten.
53. Eat whole foods. The less refined the food, the more full of fiber and
nutrients, the fewer calories and the more filling it will be.
54. Focus on what you need to eat. Don’t focus on what you can’t eat
next. By the time you get in all the fluids, fruits, vegetables, grains,
beans, nuts, seeds, dairy, and protein that you need each day,
there isn’t much room left for anything else.
55. Eat just before you’re hungry. It will help control your appetite
cravings and keep your metabolic rate high all day long.
56. Take a vitamin-mineral supplement. When you’re dieting, it’s hard to
get in all the nutrients you need. A one-a-day type of supplement
will give you the nutrition insurance you need.
57. Get the most from your sweets. If you’ve got a sweet tooth, indulge it
after your workout. That’s when your body really benefits from high
glycemic index carbohydrate to allow for rapid fuel replenishment in
your muscles.
58. Eating out? Choose sushi. It’s a great high-protein low-fat meal.
59. Switch from regular to diet soft drinks. You’ll save a bundle of carbs
and calories. Those added sugars will halt your fat loss any day.
60. Inspirational reminders. Biblical truth motivates us to stay on track.
61. Fast food choices. Couldn’t avoid it and you’re stuck in fast food
land? Wendy’s chili, salads or baked potato, Chick-fil-a grilled chicken sandwich or wrap (hold
the sauce), Subway’s low-fat fare on Whole Wheat, are all good choices.
62. Tap your feet. Studies show that people who fidget burn more
calories on a daily basis and have better weight control.
63. Park far from the store. So you have a little hike along with your
shopping trip.
64. Don’t be a garbage disposal. Only eat food on your plate.
65. No bread basket. Avoid filling up on the bread served before a
meal. Request that bread be served with the meal.
66. Go light on the salad toppers. You can turn any healthy low-fat
salad into a double cheese whopper by adding all the toppings at
the salad bar. Be selective with croutons and bacon bits, and
choose virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
67. Don’t take pride in the clean plate club. Stick with your portion
control and leave the rest or take it home in a doggy bag.
68. Take active breaks. Sitting still at your desk all day long will make you
feel tired and depressed. The next thing you know you’re reaching
for a candy bar. Get yourself up instead. Every hour stand up and
stretch and walk around. You’ll feel better, work better and
ultimately, look better.
69. Turn your coffee break into a power walk. When the coffee and
doughnuts come around, get up and take a 10-minute power walk
with a bottle of water. You’ll be much more wide awake.
70. Make it easy. If time is an obstacle, don’t hesitate to use pre-cut
veggies or canned beans. The nutritional content is a lot higher than
not eating them at all.
71. Convenient protein is available. Use pasteurized 100 percent egg
whites when you don’t feel like cracking all those eggs and dumping
the yolks. I use Egg Beaters and add some Salsa… cooked with a spray of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
72. Shop the perimeter. When you go to the supermarket, shop the
perimeter of the store. That puts you in the heart of the whole foods
sections: produce, dairy, meats, fish. Be careful in the bakery section.
73. Choose real food. The fat-free and carb-free products don’t satisfy
and you end up eating what you want anyway.
74. Pre-wrapped treats. Buy individually wrapped portions of ice creams
and candies to help control portion size and number. I like Ghirardelli 60% CACAO. Check out the Nutrition Facts on the back of the pack… and it is even better. Haagen-Daz Sorbet is great too with out the fat!
75. Serving sizes: read labels. Comparing labels isn’t just for the ladies.
Many products like beverages and snack foods contain more than
one serving in what appears to be an individually packaged
serving.
76. Casserole chaos. Watch out for the hidden fats and calories in
combination dishes. Eat simpler foods to avoid this mishap.
77. Slow down. By eating more slowly you can allow your body’s built-in
appetite control system to kick in. When you eat too quickly, you can
pack in more food before your stomach signals your brain that you’re
full.
78. Clean your closet. Get rid of your loose clothes so you can’t fall back
on them when you gain extra pounds.
79. 100 calories/day equals 10 pounds a year. You can either lose it or
gain it. 100 calories is equivalent to a slice of bread and a small pat
of butter, half of a large bagel, 1/3 of a large muffin, a small
wrapped piece of chocolate candy, about half a can of soda,
about six ounces of juice.
80. Excuse yourself. Get up from the table when you’re finished eating
so you’re not tempted to nibble.
81. Don’t go hungry. Make sure you’re not famished as you head to a
social event or the grocery store. Eating ahead of time will help
control your appetite and food choices.
82. Stay with the program. Weight loss doesn’t happen overnight while
you sleep. It takes weeks, months and years. If you stick with your
plan, you’ll get the results you’re looking for.
83. Skip the scale. Fluid changes and fat distribution shifts bodyweight
up and down, especially when you exercise. Bodyweight does not
reflect what’s really going on with fat burning, muscle toning and
enhanced fitness. Fitting into that new pair of jeans is a better
measure.
84. Set realistic, short-term goals. Decide to drink more water, eat more
fruits and vegetables, eat at the table, and exercise daily. These are
what will ultimately lead to your long-term objective of weight loss.
85. Keep a journal. Writing out your food choices and exercise activity is
a great method for helping you change old habits into new,
healthier ones. Also keep a journal of what God is teaching you during your journey!

I hope this encourages you… remember you can just pick one tip a week for the next 85 weeks… that is at least a place to start! God Bless and I hope that you begin to feel better and enjoy life to the fullest!

(The tips above have been put together from many various sources along my journey… If you have thoughts to add please do, I would like to hear what has been helpful to you.)

Report Card for Parents.

Allow your children to grade you with complete freedom. Then after they have finished you can talk about your grade. Remember to listen and not become defensive.

Please grade the following with a grade of A,B,C,D or F.

Dad (Mom) shows that he (she) loves me ____
Dad (Mom) is fair in his (her) decisions ____
Dad (Mom) is interested in my feelings ____
Dad (Mom) admits when he (she) is wrong ____
Dad (Mom) spends enough time with me ____
Dad (Mom) controls his (her) anger and words ____
Dad (Mom) listens to what I say ____
Dad (Mom) is fun ____
Dad (Mom) trusts me ____
Dad (Mom) respects me ____
Dad (Mom) enjoys being with me ____
Dad (Mom) provides spiritual leadership ____
Dad (Mom) makes me a priority in his (her) life ____

Overall Grade ____

On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 is best), what kind of relationship do you want with Dad
(Mom)? ____

On the same scale, where are you today in your relationship with Dad (Mom)? ____

If your Dad (Mom) could do three things to raise his (her) grade to a 10, what would they
be?
1.
2.
3.

In Deuteronomy 6:4-7, God instructs parents to teach children about following him. In
what three areas of your spiritual walk would you like you dad or mom to help?
1.
2.
3.

This approach opens the door for great conversations. But be careful when using this
process. This isn’t a time to defend your position; you can only ask questions to clarify a
response. Remember: “Do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged”
(Colossians 3:21).

Another example….

Parent Report Card

Rate from 1  to 10 – 1 being the lowest score and 10 being the highest.

Feel free to change Mom to Dad…

My mom takes good care of me.  ___

My mom loves me.  ___

My mom yells too much (1 means yells way too much; 10 never yells).  ___

My mom nags too much (1 means nags way too much; 10 means never nags).  ___

My mom respects me and my opinions (1 means doesn’t respect me at all; 10 is respects me very much).  ___

My mom treats my friends well.  ___

My mom is negative. (1 means very negative; 10 means very positive, upbeat).  ___

My mom spends enough time with me (1 means no time with me; 10 means lots of time).  ___

My mom is too demanding (expects too much of me) (1 means expects way too much; 10 meaning, let’s me do things at my own pace).  ___

My mom cares too much about what I eat/about my physical health (1 means cares way too much; 10 means doesn’t care at all).  ___

My mom helps me grow closer to God (1 means she does a great job; 10 she doesn’t help me at all).  ___

My mom loves my dad.  ___

My mom respects my dad.  ___

My mom loves God.  ___

My mom likes me to have fun. ___

My mom is fun. ___

I rate my relationship with my mom as a ___ (1 to 10)

What things would you like me (Mom)  to do differently, how can I be a better mom to you?______________________________________________________________________________________________

In what areas do I need to be a better example to you? __________________________________________________________________________________________________

Any other comments?

Good Fruit.

I don’t know about you but I love good fruit! No. Not the kind you can get in the regular supermarket. The kind of fruit I am talking about is the fruit you run across a couple of times a year at a road side produce stand or at a “Pick your own” farm. I happen to live in a town that has a pretty great produce stand year around but the last couple of months, MAN… the fruit has been good! I am talking about local grown blackberries that taste better than candy, peaches that you have to eat standing over the sink that blow away any peach flavored drink or ice cream you have ever tasted and watermelons that are so sweet! Then there are the tomatoes. You can’t even get close to a local grown, real deal, tomato!

Well here is my point… think about all those people that think fruit is suppose to taste like it does in the supermarket. Think about all those people that think gray, grainy tomatoes they get from fast food places are “normal”. How sad is that… Man I wish that I could just let them “taste and see” how good it can be.

I am scared that many non-believers have tasted the non-vine ripened fruit of surface believers and think that is as good as it gets! John 15:5 teaches us that apart from abiding in the vine we can do NOTHING, but if we will abide in Christ we will produce MUCH GOOD FRUIT.

I pray that you are not bearing mass produced, supermarket quality, non-vine ripened fruit in your life!